Monday, 20 February 2012

F#%& you

Do you remember last year, when I said "it's a lovely sunny day, let's go in the garden!" and caused an eternal feud with the neighbours? Well, I've just gone and done it again this year, this time with the Day Centre.

Lovely sunny day. Feeling good. Two kinds of strawberries and a bush to plant. Desire to plant some more purple carrots. Poo to shovel off the patio. Opportunity for headcollar work with dog. Excellent reasons to go and have a nice sunny day in the garden, right? I even wore my nice purple poncho.

I'd only just sat in my chair and was trying to buckle myself in when a dog at the centre started clambering at the wall upon sighting Freya. She seemed quite terrified of him.
The presumed owner of this dog had the audacity, the FLAMING AUDACITY to tell us that Freya was "winding his dog up". Can you believe that shite? She lives here!
She wasn't actually in the wrong herself but she wouldn't stop whimpering and before long I was wound right up. This prat next door was still letting his dog paw at and sniff the wall, casually saying "he won't jump over". No, because you are perfectly in control of the situation(!).

We had no choice but to take her back inside. William led her away from me, which she didn't like one bit, and she actually slipped out of her collar. It was fitted correctly, I am very obsessive-compulsive about it and check it every day. She tugged so hard that it went over her ears anyway, and yelped in what must have been great pain. The other guy simply chuckled and said "she doesn't like that".

No, she fucking doesn't like that, but it happened because YOU are a scummy little cunt!

We shut her in the house, but of course she knows how to open all the doors because she is an assistance dog, and she came straight back outside again, cowering with her face close to the ground, clearly in terror.
The other dog kept barking and then the usual neighbours' dog was barking back at it, while everyone at the centre was laughing heartily, so we gave up and came back inside.

What if she, collarless, leaped that wall and ran straight out of the centre's open gate? We'd rely on the inefficient microchip system to get her back. Unless she just got hit by a car. We could have been dogless if this became any more chaotic.

I'm so fucking sick of it. I sent them a complaint CC'ing the city council, and so did Kadek. I would have mailed the police too if I could find a suitable email address, the general enquiries one doesn't seem fitting.

I looked up their website and made a most infuriating discovery. They are not a standard centre for the homeless. They are ex-offenders accommodation. Their aim is to stop criminals becoming homeless.

Are you serious?! Okay, I have been homeless, slept outside, etcetera etcetera. All this time I have been feeling so bad for assuming that homeless people were capable of prancing around my garden with a torch just because of their circumstances, but it turns out that they are all criminals! I can't believe I just let someone from the scummiest section of society speak to me like that. There are not words to communicate how ANGRY I am. I think there might literally be steam coming out of my ears.

I came inside and shouted so hard about it for so long that my throat is hoarse. I cannot even see straight, my vision is like mottled carpet. My chest hurts. My blood sugar has been going up and down like a see-saw. High-low-high-low-high-low. On the way to the toilet I ACTUALLY FAINTED.

So now I have a throbbing head and kneecaps that feel like they've shattered. I don't think I've had a stress attack so bad that I collapsed in years. I am absolutely fucking fuming.

My email has a reply already, they were polite enough and apparently want to meet us to discuss it. I'm trying not to be angry about it, although I'm not stupid enough to think that they aren't referring to me as some sort of evil complaining-about-the-homeless-shelter bitch behind my back.

I could literally kill somebody right now. I can't find anything in the house sharp enough for what I want to do to that piece of shit.

The dog is frozen in the corner unresponsive to anything. Lords only know how far this has set us back. She has a horrible enough history as it is. She may not be able to graduate. I have discussed with Will before that if MDD can't do anything for her behaviour, I would need to apply for another dog from them, or maybe Canine Partners, but the medical alerting aspect is important to me.

But, we cannot have another dog here. The idea of getting rid of her moves me to tears and I really wouldn't like to do it. We can try and squeeze a second animal here, but the landlord would undoubtedly notice. He only gave us permission to house a dog that would become my assistance dog. If Freya is not going to be that dog, he will say that she has to go or we all do.

The ripple effects of events today could mean that in the long term we either lose our house or our dog. My first ever dog, and I probably wouldn't be able to live with that. Everything rests on professionals being able to train her out of her current behaviour. I hope too much damage hasn't been done.

These people just sicken me. According to the website they are meant to be doing activities and learning skills to prevent them from becoming homeless. Why, then, do they spend all their time in the garden, chucking empty drink cans over our wall and making lewd comments to myself, my partner, and the girls upstairs when they dare to open the windows of their own flat?

I feel like a prisoner in my own home. It's bad enough that I can never go out, but I also dare not step into my own garden, less I offend some dodgy thug. I know I live in a city and that people are all closely packed together, but I find it flipping outrageous that even with all the doors and windows closed I can still hear their noise when I'm trying to work in my kitchen.

They close at 4:30pm, and it's all well and good to say that we should only go outside after that, but not only should I not have to be on a curfew in my own damn home, the best of the sun is gone and it's just not ideal. I should have the freedom, at home, to do whatever I damn well please with my garden without being hounded by neighbours on either side.

We could put a fence up on that wall too, but it wouldn't extend very much above it, and dogs could still leap over. Grr. We need a threatening sign.

Freya injured her other dewclaw last night, so she has to go to the vet. What a joyous week this is turning out to be.

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